I know “self care” is such a buzz word in 2019, but with good reason. It’s extremely important that in the rush of our world as it is today we remember to take care of ourselves. This is especially true for moms. So often we are taking care of everyone else. I know for myself, even when I have free time I feel guilty if I’m not doing something productive or beneficial to the household.
This year I have started being more intentional with taking care of my self. I didn’t necessarily think of it as self care, but it was little things that I would do to help myself mentally, emotionally, and physically get through each day. Obviously, everyone is different and what works for me may not work for you, but I least want to share what I’ve done.
Sleep Strategically
I know that sounds funny, but it’s the best way to say it. As I have mentioned before, I am not a night person. So this tip works for me because of that. I try go to bed early so that I can wake up early. Almost a year ago I read the book The Miracle Morning by Hal Elrod after hearing him speak on a podcast. In this book you are encourage to wake up early and follow a set morning routine. I followed the routine, but somewhere along the way I decided I wanted to give that up and just get up when I felt like it.
What began happening, was that my kids were waking up before me and I was waking up feeling rushed to take care of them. So I went back to waking up early. I wake up about an hour before they usually wake. While I don’t always following the Miracle Morning routine, but I do take the time to start with Bible reading and praying. I then can do any quiet tasks around the house that would be difficult with children around. Or sometimes I even just sit and read for a half hour. I generally finish my “me time” with a shower and then I am ready to start the day with my girls.
I’ve noticed that on the days that I have that hour in the morning to start slow, I am much more patient. I am more prepared to make breakfast and I get less frazzled by little things.
Designate a “Quiet Time”
I’ve shared our daily schedule before and we have generally stuck to that same schedule for the past two years. As M got older she didn’t need the morning nap anymore, but this introverted mama does. So what I started doing was allowing her to have quiet time in her room. She has toys and books in there and can play quietly.
I can then use that time to straighten the house some, get a load of laundry done, or simply rest. The twins generally sleep for an hour and a half in the morning. But I try not to leave M in her room more than an hour unless I am really in the middle of something. Now that she is able to open her door herself, she has permission to leave her room and use the bathroom by herself if she needs to.
Find a Hobby
A hobby can be anything that you do just for you. I personally like to do crafts, sew, bake, and read. This is great because they are all things I can do in the house while my kids are asleep. With the exception of reading, they all can also be productive which fulfills that need that I have.
Also, these are all things that I can do alone, which is beneficial for me as an introvert. I recharge and gain energy in my alone time. Every now and then I will let M craft or bake with me, but I generally try to reserve those times for just me. Something that I can do for myself that brings me joy.
If you’re an extrovert that could be something as simple as making a phone call to a friend and allowing yourself the time to chat. Or it could be meeting for coffee or having a girls night out. It could be going shopping. I use that one sometimes too, but that’s not the greatest option when you’re on a budget. Whatever it is make sure that when you have that “me time” that you are doing something that energizes you and brings you joy.
Quality Time
My final way to take care of me is to spend quality time with my husband. If several days go by without us having the opportunity to sit and talk without the kids running around or doing something together I get agitated. I miss that connection with him. I truly feel sad for the people I see on the internet who say once you have kids they come first and your spouse second because they have it so wrong,
Without the relationship of the parents, the children wouldn’t be here. If you married that person you did it because there was something that connected you to them. If all of your time, focus, and energy is spent on the children that connection will eventually fade away. The time my husband and I spend together without the kids is the opportunity for us to reconnect. That connection has changed some a lot in the past six years, but it is still there because we make time for it.
The more that we do things together, the more I can appreciate how hard he works for our family and all he does for the children. I believe the same goes for him with me. Its that connection between us that gives us the strength to get up every day and be the best parents we can be. It is a form of self-care.
So encourage every mom (and dads too) to find those things that help you to recharge and bring you joy. Find a way to work them into your schedule because they are important. YOU are important.
Martina