Honoring Your Husband

I write this post as my husband and I are in the midst of making a decision about something that, while not huge or life changing, is significant in the fact of what it means to each of us. When the topic was originally brought up my first response was an absolute NO! As the days and months have worn on and we have had more discussions, I realized how my original reaction affected him. This situation is something that is important and meaningful to him and by immediately shutting down the topic it was like a slap in the face and as if I said what was important to him was not important to me.

In the time that has passed I have had several conversations with both my husband and my mother, who also happens to be my pastor’s wife, and I have been able to work through my initial reaction and realize the importance of honoring my husband by allowing conversation to take place with my husband about the situation. While I am by no means an expert, as I struggle daily and I am still learning how to be a good wife, I did want to share some of the things that I have learned.

1. My husband needs me to listen. The same way that I will have things that I want to share or discuss, he has that need as well. I have learned to listen to what he is saying on a subject so that I can truly understand his thoughts and feelings. Proverbs 31:11 says “The heart of her husband trusts in her [with secure confidence], and he will have no lack of gain”. How can my husband trust me if I am unwilling to listen and be open to his opinions and feelings? Anyone who knows my husband and I, know how absolutely opposite we are. Thus, our feelings and opinions are often very different. However, I cannot allow my feelings to cloud my ability to be the wife that he needs. So, I have to make a conscious effort to listen to him no matter and if I feel to comment do so lovingly.
2. My husband needs my encouragement and support. During this time, I have had to go outside of myself and encourage him regarding this situation. Many times, I have wanted to say, “you know what, just forget it”, but I know that is not the right thing to do. I often ask my mom why I should do the right thing and how unfair it is. But is it really unfair to know that I am honoring my husband by encouraging him in the right direction? Verse 12 of Proverbs 31 says, “She comforts, encourages, and does him only good and not evil all the days of her life.” That’s the kind of wife that I want to be; one that is a comfort and support to my husband. So that when his mind is thinking over his day and our conversations he is considering the encouragement that I have given him and not the negative remarks or comments that I have made.
3. My husband needs me to “take care of the house”. Yes, you read that right, my husband needs me to take care of the house. In this circumstance, taking care of the house is planning for something that I honestly don’t want to be a participant in. I will tell of the three things I have mentioned, this is probably the most difficult for me. I am having a crown put on in two weeks and I found it easier to plan for that than I do for this situation. However, I know how much it means to him so I am doing my best to keep a good attitude as I help plan and prepare for it because that is one of my roles in our household. Proverbs 31:27 states, “She looks well to how things go in her household, and does not eat the bread of idleness.” In my case idleness is allowing my thoughts to wander and stir up negative feelings regarding the situation.

I have been and will continue to listen to my husband, encourage and support him, and do my best to take care of my house so that I can honor him and be the wife that he needs. I hope that this post has blessed you. If you have something you would like to share or add to this list as it is by no means conclusive, feel free to comment below.

Martina

All verses are from The Amplified Bible