Father’s Day was on Sunday and as I went through the day I saw a variety of online posts about fathers. Some were good and some were not so good. In fact some were downright ugly.
The Ugly
Recently, one of my male coworkers jokingly made the statement “I have no kids… that I know of.” It made me think of how sad it is that a man could father a child and for whatever reason not know about them. Additionally, while traveling last weekend I was listening to an audiobook in which a girl was sent away after becoming pregnant and being forced to give up the child and the father didn’t find out until twenty years later.
This made me think of how many children have been deprived of a father for reasons outside of their control. Many of them live their whole lives never knowing their father and possibly wondering who this man was that contributed to their life. Ironically, the coworker who made the joke is one of those people who never met their father. In our conversations over the past six months you could see where deep down he would have liked to have known the man who fathered him. Now, he speaks as though it doesn’t matter, but you can tell it does.
I have also met people whose fathers started out in their lives and made a choice to leave them. I saw posts on Sunday in which two siblings called out their father for what an awful person he was. I cannot imagine what he has done or said to them that could make them want to publicly embarrass him in that way. But I am sure they are not the only people with negative feelings towards the man who fathered them.
The Sad
There are also those whose fathers have passed away and have left a gaping hole in their lives. I cannot even begin to imagine this pain. A very dear friend of mine has experienced this and I don’t even know what to say to her. I can’t say I understand because I don’t. I can’t say it will get better, because I don’t know that. He wasn’t my father, but even when I think of memories of our childhood and I picture him and the songs he would make up I get sad. I feel helpless for her, but know that the best thing I can do is be a friend.
This is a completely different feeling than the previous one. Having a good father and then losing them would be so hard. You could be angry, but at who , God for allowing it to happen? Or your father for passing away? Neither of those feelings would make the situation any better. It would only hurt you and possibly those around you.
The Good
Then there is the final group of us, those who have good fathers who are still living. I think we all try to do our best to be thankful for them and respect and love them. Sometimes, though, it’s easy to take them for granted. They are there, they’ve always been there, and it’s hard to imagine them not being there. I know my dad is one of the most hardworking and helpful people I know. He has fixed more things for me than I could count. However, he is getting older and I have to face the thought that one day he may not be there. That is hard!
Heavenly Father
I only have one thing that helps me work through that thought; Jesus, my Heavenly Father. Sometimes it’s hard to think of God as our Father. Either because your father was so bad that you resent the comparison, or because your father was so good it’s hard to think of replacing him. Being honest, I fall in the second category. I struggle to speak to God as my Father. Because I have a father, and he is a good one.
A relationship with God is just that, a relationship. As relationships build they become deeper and stronger. Acknowledging God as your Father is part of that. There are things that a good father will do for you that a random man probably won’t. My dad has helped so much in renovating our house. I have not heard of him doing the same for others. He may give advice, but he’s not going to come over after a days work and spend hours on his hands and knees working for just anyone.
The same goes for God. To realize that next level in your relationship with Him, you have to be willing to acknowledge and accept Him as your Heavenly Father. With a Father-child relationship comes comfort and protection. It can also help you heal from the hurt that your natural father may have left. I am working to build my relationship with my Heavenly Father and I challenge you to do the same.
Martina