I know I have done an awful job writing this summer. I thought since I have more time that I would get more writing done and not less. It’s actually the opposite. I work well with structure. My summer was completely unstructured so it was hard to make myself sit down and write. Also, being home with Baby Girl and having fewer interactions with people somewhat stifled my creativity. Needless to say I start back to work next Monday and hope to get back on a schedule to at least writing once a week.
This summer has been a whirlwind! It started with my first weekend/week off traveling out-of-state for a wedding. When we returned it was my birthday which passed in a blur. I then spent the next month planning Baby Girl’s first birthday party (which turned out awesome). Somewhere in the month I realized I was pregnant, which was a welcome surprise. We didn’t want to tell anyone until after the party.
Then came the big news: I went for my first ultrasound, which strangely lasted an hour, they’re usually 20-30 minutes, and we found out we were expecting twins! Now here’s where the lesson comes in. I have struggled with fear for years. Fear of trying new things, fear of whats going to happen. It is so prominent I can literally see the “worst case scenario” in my mind. You know holding a newborn and falling down the stairs, that sort of thing.
Anyways we found out that there are many types of twins. Most people think they are either fraternal or identical, but there is more to it. Without getting too technical, fraternal twins are conceived when two eggs are fertilized and identical twins are conceived when a fertilized egg splits. Based on when the egg splits determines if each baby lives in its own “house” and has its own supply of nutrients. If you want to read more about this check out this post, it is very informative (she is a mom of twins not a doctor) but not as graphic as some are.
Well in that first ultrasound they couldn’t find a wall to separate their houses. Which is potentially very dangerous. I spent two weeks stressing about tangling cords, being put on bed rest very early, and being admitted to the hospital. Sure I prayed during that time that it wouldn’t be the case, but I definitely let fear take over and forgot to trust in God like I should. Finally, we had our follow-up ultrasound with the specialist and very clearly saw the wall separating our babies. It was like a huge weight was lifted.
However, I was very much convicted. I knew God was able and I wasn’t at all surprised to see the result. But I shouldn’t have allowed the seeds of doubt to grow so strongly in my mind. I should have known that even if the wall wasn’t there, God was in control. He would and will take care of my family, job, finances, and whatever else would have been affected.
Needless to say I am ending this summer with a new outlook and a renewed trust in my Heavenly Father. As Matthew 7:11 says:
If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?
How much more? God always goes above and beyond and I can never thank Him enough for His good gifts!
Martina