I want to start this post by saying that this is obviously an opinion post. I know that being a stay-at-home versus working mama is a fairly controversial topic. Mamas on both sides are very opinionated and passionate about their feelings, and I just wanted to share mine. My husband says I am very opinionated on things, but this is an area where I vacillate between the two different camps.
Stay-at-home Mama
Being a teacher, I get the distinct opportunity of experiencing what it is like to be a stay-at-home mom (SAHM). I have always had the utmost respect for when who choose to stay at home with their children. In many cases they leave a career or put it on hold and put the raising of their children first. This can be a huge thing in some families.
Having been home with Baby Girl for the past month I also understand the work that goes into being home and caring for your children. I only have one and I feel like I work harder than I did teaching. You are always on duty. There are no planning periods to put your feet up for a few minutes and chat with a coworker. Your ability to get things done are completely dependent on a baby who doesn’t really care if you want to read just one more chapter of your book or finish the laundry. She doesn’t care if you just cleaned this room, she will leave her toys all over the place for you to pick up later.
When you are a stay-at-home mom there really is no “off-duty” time or shift schedule. Sure you may say to your husband when he gets home “I just need 15 minutes to myself”. But unless you leave the house you still have a chance of being needed and really, what’s 15 minutes? You are on-duty from the time you wake up in the morning until you put those beauties to bed at night. However, I would say there is something about spending your days with your own babies in your home that is more enjoyable than spending them with someone else’s outside of the home.
Supermom: The Working Mama
On the flip side of that is the working mama. I went back to work from maternity leave when Baby Girl was only three months old. Obviously I spent the rest of the year as a working mama. It ain’t easy. I was blessed in that Baby Girl is a dream to raise. She was sleeping very well and got on a very good schedule. I also had a very supportive husband and we split our duties well.
As I prepared to go back to work, I was very emotional and worried about how I would feel leaving my baby to be cared for by someone else. To my surprise, I was back in the groove fairly easily. I enjoyed being back in a set routine and knowing what was expected of me. Sure I missed my baby, but I knew that she was being cared for by family and so I didn’t have to worry about her. Dealing with other people’s children all day made coming home to my own child that more rewarding.
I enjoyed my days at work and the challenges of teaching and I also enjoyed coming home and playing with my daughter. Sure there were days when I was tired and I came home and just sat on the couch. I was on “pick-up” duty for daycare and that was a hassle at the end of some days when I was driving for 1-2 hours after working all day. But just like any mama you do what you have to do for your babies.
Love To Every Mama
So in closing I just want to encourage every mama to do what you feel is best for your family. Don’t feel pressured from people on either side to do something you aren’t comfortable with. I know some women love their jobs and feel like it is their calling. What right does anyone have to tell you to give up your calling? In the past year I have heard so many people voice their opinions about how awful daycares are. They make you feel like you’re a bad mother for considering send your child to one. Sure there are some really bad ones out there, but they aren’t all bad. If you have to work to support your family and send a child to daycare then that’s what you have to do.
Stay-at-home mama’s, know that you are blessed to be able to stay home with your babies. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad because you sacrificed your career for your family. Also, try not to judge the working mothers. You never know when the woman you are judging would love to stay home but cannot afford it. There is enough negativity in the world that we shouldn’t be hurting a fellow mama. So to every mama out there I give you a virtual high-five for all of your hard work in doing the best you can for your children.
Martina