Have you ever felt powerless? Totally and completely unable to do anything that could possibly make a difference to your current situation? Wanting so much to make changes, but having no idea where to start or if it would even make a difference? This describes my fourth year of teaching. I spent the majority of the first quarter at home on maternity leave. I started the week of our quarterly assessment not knowing my students while they knew each other very well and already had a history.
The Problem
This group of students was a mix of behavior problems, emotional problems, and just your typical middle schoolers trying to fit in. If I could describe them in one word it would be simply this, LOUD! I have never in my life had a group of students who could go from zero to ninety in less than five minutes almost every day. They were completely unmanageable and out of control to the point that at least twice a week I would just sit in my desk chair, stare at them, and say to myself “I guess I’ll just baby sit for a while.”
It was a constant choice between do I attempt to yell over them, teach to those that can hear me, or just give up. Most days I leaned towards giving up. But then I would look over and see the faces of my straight-A, Principal’s Honor Roll students and be reminded that they deserve more. They deserve my best and that would give me the push to teach for them. Because even if 75% of my class was going crazy that day those 25% wanted and needed me to teach.
The Solution
On most days I spent my drive home on the phone with my mom venting and decompressing from the day. At some point during our conversations I am reminded of Colossians 3:23, “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men;” This verse gives me the strength the next day to get up and go to work the next day and do it with all my might because I truly feel that this is my calling from the Lord. I constantly remind myself that what I do is not for a paycheck, it’s not because I have an overwhelming desire to help children, it’s not even because I want to make difference in a child’s life, but ultimately I am a teacher because I believe with everything in me that it is what the Lord called me to do.
When I looked up the verse to write this post I read the next verse, which I’m sure I’ve read before, but it is certainly not quoted as often. Colossians 3:24 “Knowing that of the Lord ye shall receive the reward of the inheritance: for ye serve the Lord Christ.” Wow! How powerful is that? On those days when you are feeling powerless to change anything remember this: if you are working first and foremost for the Lord, your reward will be with Him! So the next time I feel powerless I will remember from Whom my power comes from.
Martina